Ministry is rough sometimes...

As if the title didn't say it all. This journey called "ministry" has my whole heart. I am so devoted to helping us all see a new vision of God and the church, that often times I get so wrapped up in the middle of it that I forget to breathe. The couple of months or so have been extremely exhausting, and all of my energy and focus have been completely on making sure the boat stays afloat. In the midst of that, I don't know if I've been communicating well with my closest friends and brothers. I think I've left some people out, and was reminded of that tonight. There is nothing that hurts more than when a good friend feels like they've been left behind. And there are no worse words than the criticism of those that you love the most.

Sometimes I just feel that I am on a rollercoaster that goes from the greatest ride of my life to the scariest back to the greatest in a blink of an eye. And I am just holding on, letting the ride dictate my moods and emotions. Grabbing the hand rails and praying that the lap bar keeps me safe. I know that God is faithful. I know that God loves me. I know that God is near. And in all of those "knows" I still just need God to wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything is going well. To give me rest and sanctuary from my rollercoaster.

There really is no easy answer to this. There is no quick fix. No words to "make it all better." But I wanted to share these thoughts tonight because they are things that I think we all go through... and things we all will get through. When we are real with ourselves, and real with those around us... when we truly look in the mirror and ask the hard questions.. when we can step back and honestly evaluate our life... thats when we can breathe. We can breathe in the love of God. Here comes my chance to breathe...