A Tough One

Sunday was a tough day for me. I know that with leadership comes failures, and Sunday I felt like I was let down by a friend and in turn, I let down my community. On the personal side, I can apologize for allowing my leadership to distract our community from what was otherwise a great Sunday. On the professional side, I learned a lot and will never let that sort of thing happen again.

It still stings... although with each storm comes new rain, and new soil is uncovered. I am praying that this new soil is rich with nutrients and commitment to the building of Missiongathering.

A Beautiful Prayer / Lectio

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Hallelujah, God Is Near

Hallelujah, God Is Near


God’s resplendent glory full
On display for all to see
God creator – God of hope
Beautiful redeeming Grace

Healer of the broken down
Of the orphans and oppressed
Find Him dining with the poor
Find Him here surrounding

Chorus:
Hallelujah God is near
Hallelujah God is near

From oceans depth to cedar trees
Fields of wheat along the plains
Praise to God from all the earth
Praise Him from the mountaintops

His radiance is greater than
Anything on earth and sky
Stars and moon will guard the night
Shinning to the God on high
Let true love break out in praise
Let it dance and praise His name
All creation join to sing
Hallelujah to the king

We love, oh, we love
We sing, oh, we sing to You
We shout Hallelujah
We shout Hallelujah

Love Remains

This is the only way I know how to process these fires. These are lyrics from a song I wrote and will play on Sunday at Missiongathering.

Love Remains

Oh the world did change
As the skys all filled with grey
And the ground scorched with pain
Took our lives away

But love remained
Oh love remained
How love remained
Our love remained

And here we are
With sill beating hearts
And eyes to see us through
Oh here we are, Here are you

Love remains
Oh love remains
How love remains
Our love remains

Let this love, get you through
Let this love, get us through
Let your love, get us through
Let our love, get you through

Love still remains
Oh love still remains
Oh how love still remains
Our love still remains

Anger... So Much Anger

I am struggling with this right now. I cannot see how anyone can look at the gospel of Jesus Christ and justify excluding certain groups of people based on their humanity. I am really struggling right now. I didnt know just how angry I really was until last night, as I processed on my drive home and my drive to sanctuary, this sick.. stomach anger swelled up in me and overtook my very physical being. I am so angry right now with the church... with christian leaders that choose to exclude... with people who say they are about the "ministry" of Jesus Christ, but rationalize their judgement and ignorance with selected readings of scripture. I cannot imagine a world where the message of christianity would be a message of exclusion, judgement and behavior modification.

I am not an angry person. I do not get angry often, quickly or over silly things. In fact, for the most part people typically call me "non-confrontational." But this has really pissed me off. This has made me confrontational. I am not so much mad at specific people... but upset with the fact that there are so many people that will be marginalized and judged based on rationalizations of the gospel. My heart is burning with honest sadness for those that I see will be left out, and told that their pursuit of healthy spirituality is not valid by men that have no idea what it is like to walk in the shoes of the very people they exclude.

As I sat with a friend last night and talked about what I was feeling, she told me that there is a reason. That this issue will be the issue that defines our time right now. And that God is stirring me and putting an immense passion in me right now that can only be preparing me for His use. I am trying to have compassion. To view the "other side" of the argument with understanding and grace, but as I sit right now, that is extremely hard.

Christ came so that none would be left in the dark. Christ died so that all could have ownership in the Kingdom of God. Christ rose to commission us into being disciples of his love and grace and hope. Christ has asked us to extend His hands of caring... His eyes of understanding... His legs of mercy and His heart of LOVE. Love never excludes... never.

I am not sure yet what to do with this anger. I am not sure how to express it or how to use it for productive means. I am praying. I am praying hard that there is clarity in the path in front of me. This passion is for a reason and I am here, in this unique time and space... for a reason.

If you are reading these words... please pray with me. Please take up the cross of love... unconditional love... and carry it to those that are marginalized and outcast. Love extravagantly with me and help to paint a new vision of faith. A faith that includes... a faith that hopes... and a faith that loves. Without that.. we only have ignorance... and ignorance breeds fear... and fear breeds hate... and hate leads to things that are much worse than the darkest places of a persons heart.

1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (msg)
" 12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

Off To The Home of the 'Bucks

I am leaving in less than an hour for Seattle. It should be a great trip... we have a crazy itinerary planned out for us already. We are headed up there to discuss the possibility of planting a Missiongathering: Seattle right in the heart of what they call the "U-District." There is a beautiful church right in the heart of the village that is wanting some re-vitalization. I am stoked about the potential there... a little nervous... and a little tired. Overall, I think this will be a great trip.

Much love my SD peeps. Dont you fret... Ill be home on Saturday.

I Am Free...

Yesterday at Missiongathering was a great time. We introduced a new song called "I Am Free." It was pretty rad (and yes I used the word RAD) to see our community really engage. The lyrics speak to where we are in our life of our community. So I figured I would post the lyrics up here... so here they are:

I Am Free
Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams, I am free!

I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you)
I am free
(I am free)


Through You the kingdom's come
Through You the battle's won
Through You I'm not afraid
Through You the price is paid
Through You there's victory
Because of You my heart screams I am free
I am free

Who the Son sets free, Is free indeed
Who the Son sets free, Is free indeed
Who the Son sets free, Is free indeed
Who the Son sets free, Is free indeed

From Letters To Peace

I sent out fundraising letters today to close friends and family regarding TBR's new album. I prayed over them as I walked them to the post-office and placed them in the mail box. It was cool realizing what I was praying for. I found myself praying not for success, but that God's will would be done through these letters. I think I am getting to a place where I know that if this album is supposed to happen, then God will see it through. And if it isnt, then God will see that through.

Its crazy that I am finally in this place. And I have a weird and almost surreal sense of peace about it.

We will see what happens... but for now, I invite you to journey with me. Its gonna be a rollercoaster!

Street Gatherings #3

Tonight's "Street Gathering" is brought to you by the good folks at Mountain Dew... Mountain Dew, keeping people up way past consciousness.

Tonight I got the chance to meet Dante (in the black Metallica shirt) and Raymond (in the hat) at rehearsal. They rolled up pushing shopping carts full of bottles and cans and stayed through the whole rehearsal. Tonight we were working on some new material for Sunday morning, playing two great songs: "Everlasting God," and "I Am Free."

After rehearsal we got a chance to chat, and the guys really were so uplifting to us. They said some people "have it" and we "ABSOLUTELY have it." I haven't yet figured out what "it" is, but I am reassured to know that we found it. In any event, these guys were real nice guys. We talked old time vinyl from Zepplin to AC/DC to Warren Zevon and even got to rap about some pretty crazy concerts Dante had been to. Ultimately, great guys and were extremely gracious to us.

Raymond took one of my cards and wants to give it to his sister who he says is an MTV producer. He said that she has to put too much "crap" on the air that when she finally sees real talent, she will fall in love with us. Everyone knows someone whos going to make you famous.. huh.

Great night of rehearsal... Great getting to know Dante and Raymond. I hope our paths cross again.

Hello...

sometimes this is how it feels to be me:

1/5 of the Way!

Hey all. Here is a quick update on the new album. As of today we are about one fifth of the way to having the money raised for the new album. After just a week of fundraising, I am pretty stoked. We haven't sent out letters yet, and we havent promoted beyond Mission just yet. So my hopes are up that it is going to happen. THANK YOU COMMUNITY!

Street Gatherings #2 - My Friend Dave / Isaiah 43

Last night, on my way from some dessert with some friends, I crossed paths with a local man named Dave. Dave has been coming to Missiongathering for a while now, but I have yet to really have a conversation with him. Dave also lives on the streets and is a self-proclaimed "Bum Theologian." He asked me if I had a minute, and we sat and chatted for a good 45 minutes. In the midst of hearing a little of his story, he pulled out his bible and started talking about worship leading with me.

He asked if I could write a song for him and then opened to Isaiah 43 and told me to start reading.

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, Ill be there with you. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it wont be a dead end--Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. " (msg)

We finished up our conversation over a good laugh at the old school rockers like Zepplin and Bowie and said good-bye for the night. I cant shake those verses. Talk about hope... and talk about the new TBR album. Thank you Dave. I hope I can write a song that tells your story.

Walk Their Walk

Walk Their Walk. I am playing an acoustic show at this event. Definitely come down and hang with me and participate in the event. All proceeds go to Zambia (the country I got to spend some time in a few years back). Click here for more info.

Ministry is rough sometimes...

As if the title didn't say it all. This journey called "ministry" has my whole heart. I am so devoted to helping us all see a new vision of God and the church, that often times I get so wrapped up in the middle of it that I forget to breathe. The couple of months or so have been extremely exhausting, and all of my energy and focus have been completely on making sure the boat stays afloat. In the midst of that, I don't know if I've been communicating well with my closest friends and brothers. I think I've left some people out, and was reminded of that tonight. There is nothing that hurts more than when a good friend feels like they've been left behind. And there are no worse words than the criticism of those that you love the most.

Sometimes I just feel that I am on a rollercoaster that goes from the greatest ride of my life to the scariest back to the greatest in a blink of an eye. And I am just holding on, letting the ride dictate my moods and emotions. Grabbing the hand rails and praying that the lap bar keeps me safe. I know that God is faithful. I know that God loves me. I know that God is near. And in all of those "knows" I still just need God to wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything is going well. To give me rest and sanctuary from my rollercoaster.

There really is no easy answer to this. There is no quick fix. No words to "make it all better." But I wanted to share these thoughts tonight because they are things that I think we all go through... and things we all will get through. When we are real with ourselves, and real with those around us... when we truly look in the mirror and ask the hard questions.. when we can step back and honestly evaluate our life... thats when we can breathe. We can breathe in the love of God. Here comes my chance to breathe...

To Missiongathering

Hey all you Missiongathering folks. Thank you for lettting me share my heart with you this morning and being so receptive. Im stoked to be on this journey with you all. Welcome to my blog. Welcome to my digital life. Lets have wonerful and great conversations with this forum.

Much love.

JS

Heart, Soul, Mind

This morning we started a new series at Missiongathering focused on having a "Samaritan's Heart." It was really cool to see so many people stand when Pastor Rich really challenged us as to whether or not we would start to work from our spiritual core. Im stoked to see people at Mission making their faith journey their own.

Connections

Over the last season of my life I feel that God has really been showing me just how important it is to have people around you that are going through the same things you are, and are on a similar path as you. From mentorship, to friends, to random contacts its such an amazing thing to be connected to someone that is going through the same things.
Which brings me to the concept of worship through music. Being a lead worshipper is something that takes all of your heart and all of your passion. And typically, we as artists and musicians, are very sensitive to how people receive our passion and heart Recently, I received an email from a lead worshipper friend of mine who is reading my blog:

"I also read your post about titled "Encouragement" and it sounds similar to how I often feel about our team here. Its just so fun and crazy and tiring to be allowed to play a role in what God is trying to accomplish in our respective cities. The people we do ministry with makes a big difference. I'm glad you are having a good experience with your team. So many churches dont have that luxury...though it should be the norm."

Connecting with others is so necessary to our spiritual journey and to our growth as spiritual beings. Knowing that there are others going through the same things that you are in not only reassuring, but helps to sharpen your own creative passion and heart.

Street Gatherings #1

Our first installment of "Street Gatherings: music for the street soul," are two guys we got to hang out with last night throughout our rehearsal.

We've been busy in writing new songs for our upcoming album, and in the middle of rehearsal, two guys came to join us on the steps yelling, and whistling and clapping after each evolution of the new song we were writing. After rehearsal, they came over and introduced themselves: Daryl (in the puffy jacket) and Red Beard / ZZ (in the red shirt).
Daryl is a songwriter / poet and shared a few of the songs he's been working on with us into our PA system. Red Beard used to play saxophone, but said he had to pawn it to get beer money a few years back. It was interesting to hear their stories and their dreams. Daryl wants to move to Nashville to write songs and we told him he should totally give it a shot.

They were full of encouragement and had some funny lines to share with us... and I quote:

"You guys are the next Pink Floyd and U2."
- Red Beard
"It's progressive, but its rock and roll. Everyone loves rock and roll. Finally, you guys can put POD to rest."
- Red Beard
"If you want a lyricist, I have all the songs. I have all the songs. I have all the songs. My mother was a singer. I have all the songs." - Daryl

Street Gatherings ROLL-OUT

One of my favorite parts of rehearsal is when passer-bys "join" us for a tune or two.

To give some background, our rehearsal studio is in a nice four car garage in a storage building here in North Park. The garage doors open to the adjacent ally that is attached to a fish market (stinky) an art gallery, coffee shop, and an old church. Needless to say, it can get kind of seedy at times as there is a large population of homeless men and woman in the area.

So I've decided to start a portion of my blog that is dedicated to these people, their stories, and the memories we get to make with them. Im calling it "Street Gatherings: music for the street soul."

what a sunday!

Missiongathering: YOU ROCK. We had a great gathering on Sunday, and Im feeling really good about where we are headed as a community. We are free... free to live into who we are and who Christ has created us to be. Marvelous Light.